The New Cup
Bret and Jemaine's fortunes unravel after Bret buys a new tea cup. With emergency band funds unavailable, Jemaine takes desperate measures in hopes of supplementing their income. Plot Bret buys a new cup for $2.79 so that he and Jemaine no longer have to share one cup. A month later, they find out that their check for the phone bill bounced because their account was short $2.79. The phone company charges them a $30 overdraft fee, causing the cheque for their gas bill to bounce, and both services are scheduled to be cut off. Immediately after finding this out, their power goes off. Bret ends up selling his guitar to pay the bills, and he performs on stage with Jemaine while playing air guitar and making guitar sounds. Murray writes up his negative opinion of the show in the New Zealand consulate newsletter, giving them "two stars out of 100". When Bret asks Murray for some of the emergency band fund, Murray tells him that he invested the money with a Nigerian man named Nigel Seladu who contacted him over the internet. Nigel promised Murray his money back with "a thousand percent interest" and "a share of his family fortunes". Jemaine and Bret are certain that this is merely a scam. Later on, Bret and Jemaine are confronted by Mel . When she learns they're having money troubles, she offers to pay them for a massage. Both Bret and Jemaine awkwardly try to give her a minimal contact massage while her husband, Doug , is nearby watching. Jemaine later suggests to Bret that they become male prostitutes, similar to the film Pretty Woman. They then launch into a parody of "My Humps" by The Black Eyed Peas called "Sugalumps". Trying their idea out, Jemaine approaches women on the street and asks them if they want to pay money to have sex with Bret, who is standing across the street. They then switch roles, but are unable to drum up any business. At night, their apartment is still without power and Jemaine ends up selling his bass guitar. This results in them playing a gig with both members on air guitar performing "Robots". Jemaine, meanwhile, calls up an old girlfriend and leaves a message on her answering machine asking her if she wants to pay him for the sex they previously had during their relationship. He later ends up meeting his landlord, Eugene, who found his posting for a male prostitute service on the apartment's bulletin board. Eugene advises him to go to a fancy hotel and try his luck. At a band meeting, Murray introduces Nigel Seladu, whose investment offer has turned out to be legitimate and not a scam, and results in Murray earning more than enough money for the Conchords to pay their bills and buy back their guitars. Jemaine is noticeably absent and Bret tells Murray that he is out trying to prostitute himself. Both Murray and Nigel tell Bret to go and stop him. On his way, Bret sings a song called "You Don't Have to be A Prostitute", similar to The Police's "Roxanne". He finds Jemaine in a hotel room about to have sex with a "pretty woman". He starts telling Jemaine that he doesn't need to do this any more but is interrupted by a knock on the door. Bret explains that he called the police to come and save Jemaine. When they enter, they ask Jemaine and Bret if they are prostitutes, to which Jemaine replies "Yes" and Bret replies "No, no. I'm just the guy that wears the big condom". They are both put in jail. Murray comes to bail them out, telling them that he had to spend all of their newly-acquired investment return on bail. In the closing scene, a desk-fan knocks over the new cup, causing it to smash on the floor. Songs Sugalumps You Don't Have to be A Prostitute Background Notes * ... Category:Season Two Episodes